PBR

2012-01-26T23:50:00.004+08:00

I never liked reading fiction (unless when they are exceptionally well-written) because I always felt the need to be learning something at every point of time. But lately, my brain can't seem to take in all these new information without imploding (and subsequently causing me to be rather brain-dead throughout the day). So, many referrals later, I've read and finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.

Rather than being brain-dead, it left me a little more than emotional. More specifically, it left me needing a glass of alcohol because it suddenly unearthed all these emotions I never knew I still had, or could ever have, for anyone at all.

You could pick it up, though you might cringe at the simplicity of the language, but I suppose it adds to the innocence of it all. Yeah, that was the word I was looking for. Innocence.

In the same vein, I just read Cand's blog and I too want to be the girl that people wrote stories about, or songs and poems. That girl whose hair always flutters in the wind, whose eyes seem to bear all the kindness in the world despite all the knowledge that laid behind it. The girl whose smile could light up anyone's day, so long as they looked. The girl, whose photographs were beautiful not because of the photographer, but because she herself was.

I haven't met someone like that, but I would like to be her.

/edit: god, my grammar is all over the place. i apologize.

2012-01-23T03:37:00.003+08:00

I had this nagging urge to change my rather juvenile blogskin but when it came down to doing it, I realized that I forgot half the html codes required to write a blogskin. Hence, what you see now is a half-assed version of what I intended to do. I'm quite sad about it, but not sad enough to go relearn what I used to know.

I'll figure something out. Also, there seems to be a million and one problems with the viewing as I've been told time and time again. Maybe I should use a premade blogskin; something the younger (hipster) me would hate the present (practical) me for.

2012-01-22T01:02:00.004+08:00

So, a friend asked me yesterday, "what makes you special?"

I didn't give much thought to it initially, though in all honesty, nothing came to mind. My split second reaction lingered on the word 'nice' but I settled for something else because being 'nice' was so nondescript. Everyone is 'nice'. The person that didn't leave much impression on you was 'nice'. Which begs the question - who isn't nice? Its just a matter of how high your tolerance for bullshit is.

Today I had a very long train ride, and I usually use train rides to either a) think about life b) sleep with my eyes open. I did the former. I thought long and hard. I'm good at many things, but I don't particularly stand out in any of those aspects. Which is both sad and laughable at the same time. Laughable not in the hilarious sense but in the the 21-years-of-living-and-still-inadequate sense.

And what a way to usher in the new year. I'm sorry if you got linked here and had to go through this depressing, defeated post. Which, by the way, have you realized all the saddest words in start with the letter d? demoralized, dejected, despair, dismal. Death. They should think about adding a 'd' in front of the word 'sad'. Dsad.

For a happier post click HERE . Yuntian is this bubble of happiness that makes all my sad mush go away. She also does a very good job at making me sound like an awesome, well-adjusting human being. Sort of. Except now you'll know I talk to inanimate objects, like pens. And printers. And remote controls. And newspapers. Okay, I should stop.

You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

/edit:

This is Yuntian.
She is also out of your league (and mine too, sadly)

For more narcissism, please head on to the link provided above.

2012-01-13T19:39:00.007+08:00

so, let's talk about today. not yesterday not tomorrow, today.

speaking of past and present, did you know that we're constantly slower than time? that's because light takes about a billionth of a second to travel 1 foot. so you're actually always a billionth of a second slower than reality (if you're 30 cm away from me, which i assume you are, from your computer screen). i would say 'oh time flies' except i don't really care for it. just so you know, i didn't learn this from my intro to physical science class, which i was so incredibly excited to take, i learnt this from a terrible documentary that i've been watching (which provided no form of conclusion). it cheesed me off, except not as much as the class did. the class was basically 3 hours of ' getting to know you' and 'hey, let's suck up to the prof.' which i really couldn't bring myself to.

anyway, i heard something today that made me die a little inside. it wasn't the first time i heard it, but i guess emphasis made the whole thing worse. .i heard something else that made me die a little more, which required me to down a drink or two before regaining my composure.

okay cool, nice to know.

hi, is there an aspirin? it's urgent.

the fact i'm writing my post in a wrong state of mind tells you so much about how i'm feeling at this point of time. also, as you can tell i havent given much effort into paragraphing and fulfilling proper english grammar/syntax/writing rules. i really want to just sit down and finish up my textbooks before the semester even starts. crazy? yes. justified? certainly. why? because i don't want to think about anything else.

exams are my greatest escape from reality. and for that, li ka shing library, i love you.

2012-01-07T04:59:00.003+08:00

HI CHRIS :) because I know you're reading this, and yes you're a very good friend for noticing that. And no, I'm not depressed.

Life has been pretty awesome with tons of love and several nice new friends who have been entertaining me through the wee hours of the morning.

Anyway, here's a short and meaningless post because Luoer has fallen asleep and I'm sitting beside her wide awake. Plus I need something else to do other than stare at her creepily. Maybe I'll just surf 9gag till daybreak before I wake the princess up.

/edit

I honestly think that the 7am air is good for the soul. That being said, I only actually took it in for 5 minutes before running back into my perfectly adjusted SANYO supplied air. I wanted to ask why I never really noticed the goodness of fresh morning air until I realized that 7am were usually either spent curling up in bed or behind the computer.

2012-01-03T03:16:00.004+08:00

Just so you know, I've been staring at this space for the longest time. I have so many things I want to write about, which contrary to popular belief, really is a problem because I don't know what to focus on. Writing about one incident would reduce this post to menial description of my day, writing about too many would render this post too long and hence utterly impossible to read. It's like writer's block but more trivial and less intellectual.

I could write about how I met a bunch of really cool people in town just now, or the fact that Luoer surprised me with a bag of groceries. And yes, my friends always feel the need to feed me, which by the way, I am eternally grateful for. It also means that my fridge is actually chilling something else other than a tub of ice cream and shelf load of jam. It escapes me why my parents never go grocery shopping. You could say that they only go grocery shopping once a year and you'd almost be right, because it only happens twice a year. Or if i'm lucky four times, either way I can always tick the number of times off with one hand.

Which also reminds me of a book I'm currently reading, it mentioned something about the emotion of disgust. Apparently you don't learn it until you're 3 or 4 years old. What I found more interesting was that the study involved feeding babies some form of animal poop, which they happily gobbled up. But of course, ethically, its actually just something brown mixed with very smelly cheese.

I love how my memory is so excellent at storing useless information such as poop-eating babies and classifications of cannibalism yet I cannot, for the life of me, remember any part of my daily schedule. Which also reminds me, I need to get a 2012 planner before I start pissing people off by not appearing at gatherings.

I shall stop myself before I write everything running through my damn mind. Its like a little man with ADHD (and slight schizophrenia) running up inside there. Which on second thought, maybe isn't such a healthy, nor normal, thing to begin with.

And you said “this is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy”

Where did I go wrong?

2012-01-01T21:32:00.007+08:00

Hello, hi there.

It's been a long time since I last came here with a proper post. It feels a little awkward, like a first date. thinking of words to say, deciding then changing it because you think it makes you look silly. fiddling with the rings on your fingers. chewing on your lips...

So, hi. I've done my fair share of small talk, which is more than what i would normally do because i really do hate small talk. And yes, I found the profound need to italicize the word 'really' to bring across my true feelings for the subject. I don't exactly know why I hate it so much, maybe its because i'm so amazingly hopeless at it. And yes, again.

"Oh, the weather seems delightful."

"Yup."

Which will then be followed by the most awkward 30 seconds of silence (cue ring fiddling) before the other party gets uncomfortable enough to think of a better topic. If awkwardness was the key to success, oh boy, I'd be the next Opera.

I'm actually a very nice person to talk to once you get to know me, the first few conversations might be a little tricky though. If lost, harry potter is always a good place to start. Hang in there my potential friend.

So, how have you been? I've been great. I would be better if I didn't have a lizard living in my room. I think I know where its secret hideout is - that little nook between my desk and my wall. Its like the nocturnal version of a rooster; it chuckles at 1am until I yell at it to shut up (and the best part? It actually listens to me). On the bright side, I do think I'm getting over my inane fear of lizards, after all, i am having nightly conversations with the aforementioned lizard (albeit all of them running along the lines of me asking it to shut its face).

There I go again, rambling on about nothingness. I hope 2011 has been kind to you as it was to me. If it wasn't, then try and fit it into a story, bad memories always make for the best small talk conversations.

He smiles politely back at you, you stare politely right on through

remember to breathe now.

2011-12-19T12:57:00.001+08:00

okay, cool story bro.

2011-10-31T16:05:00.002+08:00

my mother threatened to pull me out of school if i continue to wake up 45min before class.

please mum, do that. you'll be doing me a huge favor.

lucky charm worked its magic

2011-10-19T23:30:00.003+08:00

I know you think its a fantasy but since your dad walked out, your mom could use a guy like me
Stacy's mom has got it going on, she's all I want and I've waited for so long.

rocking out (read jumping haphazardly and flaying my hand around the place) with a smile on my face despite the gloomy weather and presentations looming over my head.

cheesy songs make my day.

/update: i have such incredible friends, its really quite amazing how selfless they are

2011-09-07T17:30:00.003+08:00

Good evening world,

I'm currently sitting in the library, at my usual level, in my usual seat (albeit it being 3 tables down, but its okay). The library is quiet except for the dragging of highlighters and the meticulous clicking of keyboards. click click click highlight, and repeat.

I think I've completely lost touch of the blogging world, nothing remotely interesting ever happens to me anymore. My daily life can be summarized in the paragraph above; the only changing element seems to be my seating arrangement. Its the only thing worth blogging about, except not really.

I come today in peace, without an issue nor a complaint, because like I said my life is nothing but a textbook-flipping, highlighter-scratching, keyboard-typing, kind of zen.

So, click click click click click, hello.

The tale of the Vegetarian who couldn't buy meat

2010-07-19T04:55:00.006+08:00

I don't exactly know what brings me back to this place to write about my non eventful life. Its like wandering into a second hand book store and picking out the dustiest book out there to browse. Perhaps its the layer of dust that gives it an aura of mystery, making it almost enticing. I said almost.

Anyway, did you know that the musky old book scent that everyone loves is actually the smell of dead skin cells? How romantic.

In other totally irrelevant news, I've snipped off a significant amount of hair. It pained my heart. Though probably not as much as my mother's when she saw the bill.

Mother has recently turned vegetarian and logically, or so she thinks, decides that she shouldn't be caught in the act of buying meat (apparently it is against the sanctity of her vegan ways). Loosely translated, it meant that my fridge only consisted of ketchup, an assortment of untouched jams (because for some other worldly reason we don't buy bread) and a lone packet of cai xin.

So after a hunger strike, though not entirely by choice, Mother and I finally had a truce. Which was to the joy of my Fridge whose sense of purpose was finally restored because I've maximized its capacity to every carnivore's dream. Hoho. You're welcome, Fridge.

Anyway, moral of the story? Its okay for vegetarians to buy meat, as long as they aren't the ones who put the carcass into the cart. Impeccable logic we women have, which also explains why I don't understand them still.

Anyway, since we're the subject on Mothers, do you know what a Howler is? You know the letter that screams and explodes in your face? Yeah, I think J.K. Rowling saw my mother when she thought of that idea. Really.

why are all the goodlooking people gay?

2010-06-15T00:04:00.004+08:00

Sometimes we get so caught up with the things we do that we accidentally -but not excusably- miss out on the world around us. I seem to have lost track of all my closest friends. From weekly sleepovers, meet ups, and lunches, my friendships have evolved to an unrequited relationship based on the most emotionless of mediums- facebook.

Maybe its the midnight blues talking.

On an entirely unrelated note, the butches here look like carbon copies of those male characters from Japanese mangas. Yes, it also means they look cuter than most boys back over in Singapore. The last time I was surrounded by so many good looking people was when M brought me to a gay club. Noticing a trend here? Oh right, and so many because I think I've accidentally stumbled into their den.

Meow.

Shut your eyes, feel the chemicals collide

2010-06-06T16:22:00.008+08:00

Ever visited Zouk when the sun was still shining? Well, the Bash team had to go down yesterday and boy does it look different than the Zouk I'm used to at night. The floors and furnishings were stained with remnants of unknown substances; red, white and blue. The corridors reeked of both stale beer and puke. The decor, member's area, the bar - it just looked so... unimpressive.

Oh and did you know that a jug of milk costs S$12? Or that 3 small bottles of Ribena, nay, sparkling Ribena costs 23 bucks? Capitalism \m/

Anyway, yesterday was spent running from one place to another. From a sleep-over that I didn't sleep in, I was sent running around town in the wee hours of the morning, then was dropped off at the ICA building which by the way already had a queue half way around it 40 minutes prior to opening, rushed to Zouk, galavanted in town (again) and then school for some tea session.

Was so tired by the end of it that I stood at my gate for a good 20 seconds, trying desperately to shove the wrong key into my gate. A worthy facepalm moment but my lifeless hand refused to meet my forehead.

LOVES from jakandjil

I FEEL OLD

2010-06-03T03:04:00.005+08:00

Here's your daily dose of omgiwanttohugyounow to keep depression at bay

First things first, the source of all my joy and an excellent reason to proclaim to the world; MY BABY IS COMING HOME!! You cannot believe how insanely happy I was when Apple called me. I was jumping up and down while telepathically hugging the servicing guy on the other side of the line. I honestly became all depressed and emotional the moment I handed over my laptop. Goodness, it only took an hour before it became a fully fledged assault on my psyche (and the poor people on MSN who -woe be to them- had to hear me whine).

Spent today afternoon saving the world from a zombie apocalypse. You're welcome.

I'm getting too old for the clubbing gig, honestly. Horror! If I'm already all lazy at the age of 19, what will happen to me when I turn 30?! Plus if given a choice, I'd pick L4d over clubbing, anytime.

Happy belated Ashwin, hope Shanty town made your day :)

It all goes south from here

2010-05-29T05:10:00.003+08:00

Exactly a year ago I was 163cm and 43kg, now I'm 163cm and 48kg. I wouldn't expect any of the male species to understand what I'm feeling (especially with their insane metabolism rates). But as much as I do know that its extremely superficial, I'm horribly disgusted with myself.

It refuses to go down, I'm at wits end for solutions. :"(

But banal arbitrary concerns aside, life has been pretty amazing, its been dishing out one activity after another and making sure that I'm fully occupied (which kind of -but not really-explains the lack of updates).

P.S. L4D2 enthusiasts, do date me out to a campaign game; need to hone my left click skillz. I would love to see the day where I own Iain and Mark's asses at L4d2, which by the way, isn't anywhere remotely near.

ZZZZZZZ

2010-05-18T23:22:00.002+08:00

I've been having full days worth of facilitators training for the upcoming freshman orientation camp. I forgot how tiring it was to sit from 9am to 630pm and listen to lectures; JC and secondary school timetables seem like alien concepts to me right now.

I fell asleep the moment I opened my door yesterday, and it was barely 11pm. Vampire no more.

The only thing that's keeping me awake at the moment is the fact that I've got important emails to send out.

(Y) more tiring than gym, hopefully it means that I'm losing a correlated amount of weight as well.

What I've been up to

2010-05-13T13:08:00.002+08:00

Ask and you'll receive; because you asked, here's a long blog post on what I've been up to. Which honestly, isn't much. Which tallies, since there isn't a great deal of things one can do at night (yes, I've adopted a vampire's sleeping pattern).

Pardon my horribly stale life.

1) Izzy's very epic birthday party @ Goodwood Park Suites

I loosely quote, because my memory fails me at this very moment, there was enough alcohol to make a hardcore alcoholic cringe, and make your liver flip. But alcohol isn't the only equation to any party, the people there were pretty damn awesome too. I mean, since Izzy is an awesome person, her friends by extension should all bear the same traits as well right. The suite was in a mess at the end of the day, which was an excellent sign showing how much fun we all had (at the expense of the the hotel). I do hope, as Izzy does, that no one ever, ever flips over the sofa cushions.

love you gorgeous!

2) Equinox followed by Swissotel with Lorna

(Starbucks and DIY shopping too)

Glee marathons in Swissotel with a pretty girl, any guy would kill to be in my shoes. Lorna has a weakness of fluffy bathrobes, a very good point to note if you want to chase her :) Single, gorgeous and available!

Did you know it costs $200 bucks a night to have a DVD player at Swissotel? I'm all for capitalism but isn't this a tad outrageous? Cabbing home and and dismantling my DVD player wouldn't even hit a quarter of the cost.

Starbucks with Lorna was everything I would describe a a prefect day to be like. Being (anywhere) with your favorite people, and talking about anything under the sun (brownie points if you can have a fluent harry potter conversation with me)!

3) sleepover at Luoer's with Izzy and Sonia
+ Big Bang Theory marathon

Instant noodles, Hello Panda, great company and heart to heart talks by the playground. All a girl could ever ask for. Though I'm not very good at showing it, I love you girls with all that my heart is worth (including Kimmy; even though you're so far away, like I've said, our love transcends geographical boundaries).

4) Tiffany & Co. @ Audi Fashion Show

Front Row seats, baby! Sudden sense of importance dawned upon me as I took my seat. Illogical, yes. But I'm a woman, I'm allowed to be illogical! Tiffany & Co. chauffeured a couple of their more esteemed customers to St Regis for a very entertaining (complete with a comical opera set) dinner after the show, which kind of added to that illogical sense of importance.

I ignored all table etiquette the moment the dessert arrived. Who could resist taking a photo of it, of that Tiffany box chocolate cake!

5) Louis Vuitton Private Event

Apparently Urban Travel Night was the equivalent to transforming their Ion store into a New York boulevard. Street Artists, Jazz dancers and balloon sculptors. Yes, a huge 'what on earth' to the latter. LV and Balloons sculpture isn't exactly a combination one would think up naturally.

The food though, the food was impressive. Marvelous. Ever had an ice cream pop in your mouth into another flavor? Neither have I, until that LV show that is. (Y) Pity Lorna couldn't make it, if not it would have been heaven for her.

Happily walked out of the store with a top and a clutch (and polariods).

6) Steve Aoki @ Zouk

The most appropriate description; Disaster.

For the lack of breathing room and the increased probabilty of being shoved around, no, my love for Steve Aoki and Partying does not extend that far. Despite the various similarities I bear the nonliving mythological creature, the vampire, I still retain the trait of needing to breathe adequate volumes of fresh oxygen.

7) L4D2 with Iain, Mark and Izzy (for the first half of the game)

I must say, I've improved tremendously. I gave myself a big pat on the back for that.

So, that's that. Working on something really pretty now. Getting the materials was quite a bitch. :) Keep checking this space!

what is your definition of horrible grades?

2010-05-01T02:00:00.003+08:00

Hello Blog, it's been a long time since i've last been here. Sorry, I've been spending quality time with Television downstairs. Well Blog, after the long absence, I've got a question for you. How does it feel like to be abandoned?

I've realised that I've been using you, Blog. You were the third party, the avenue for procrastination. I was cheating with you when I should have been dedicated to my examinations.

The truth never stays hidden. As they say, the truth is just like the sun, it will always come back. Blazing at you with all its fury, burning till you crumble into dust. For my affair with you Blog, I now pay my dues. Karma sure is a bitch.

So, how does it feel like to be abandoned? Like all negativity, you are slapped (complete with a throbbing red print) with a sense of disbelief. Then as sudden as death, a sickening sinking feeling strikes right at the core of your heart. This feeling, it sinks, till it can go no further. In your belly the sense of horror and misery nestles. It spawns, till all you want to do is just screw this relationship, and embark on an entirely new journey. (Take me to Paris, I screamed)

Hello Blog, it's been a long time. So, tell me now, and tell me truthfully, is this how abandonment is supposed to feel like? No actually, don't answer that . Let me rephrase, because the feeling doesn't matter anymore. What has happened already has, so screw it.
The more accurate question here would be, was everything else worth it? Was everything else worth getting abandoned for?

FOUR MORE DAYS AT SHANTY TOWN

2010-04-16T01:51:00.005+08:00

so now, moving on...

I've never would in my life believe how guns germs and steel by jared diamond could be interesting. But I'm actually starting to enjoy it. Surprise, surprise.
I refuse to make my cheat sheet for TWC. Not because I'm trying to prove something, its just that I'm just too lazy to make one (I'd rather just read ane memorize the info).

I love my friends, they deliver notes to me on their own accord.

Anyway, I like how your eyes twinkle :)))))))))))))))))))))
dammit exams have turn my brain into mush.

/update. losing steam BAD

i'll put a flower in your hair

2010-04-09T15:35:00.004+08:00

Its not that I get sudden epiphanies very often. It just always seem to happen during exam periods.

And I've chanced upon another. Eureka! I found it.

P.S. HP is coming out with its own HP slate which looks so oddly similar to Apple's iPad. Tsk. Everyone's out to piss Kindle off.

just another to-be trophy on the shelf

2010-04-07T01:47:00.005+08:00

I want to marry Lorna. All the characteristics of a good husband, all that's lacking is a car and a driver's license, but itz okayz I can deal. (/UPDATE: HAHA, she has a drivers license! OKAY, MY LIFE IS COMPLETE. MARRY ME NAO TYVM)

Our holiday to-do list has gotten very interesting; Glee marathons in Swissotel & Food hunts around Singapore. Yeah because we're wild just like that, phish *flicks imaginary dust off shoulder.

Moving on, just so you know (but you probably will never). When you smile, my heart literally breaks out into a song. Sikret.

(Damn these inane school girl hormones)

My heaaaddd, it hurrrrrtttttssss.

2010-04-04T20:10:00.008+08:00

There are some things on earth that should never be legal ; Necrophilia, Nuclear weaponary and above all, Statistics.

Sonia, this is for you

2010-04-03T14:35:00.003+08:00

I never was good with words, and I never was good around people. I get awkward when people are upset and I run away everytime they cry.
But Sonia, for you, I will stay. And that, although I lack the appropriate words, I will make up for it with time and love <3. Yes so, all the time I have is yours if you need it.

In the mean time, I'll just keep on feeding you chocolate chip cookies :)

Kimmy and Luoer are right, don't let your guns down. That son of a bitch doesn't deserve a girl like you. Let him crawl and beg if he must, but harden your heart because even though we will always be here to pick up the pieces, we don't ever want to see you break again. especially not for someone so undeserving,

<3 lets wait for izzy to come back and proceed on with that very oddly named operation that luoer came up with (heh)

100% for stats!

food for thought

2010-03-28T04:44:00.006+08:00

Look around you what are most of your friends doing? Well if you're in the right crew, your friends would be mugging their guts out. We are nothing but a speck of dust in this universe. At this stage of life, we are only dispensable at best. It's nice to think that we can change the world, but how many of us can do that? Butterfly effect doesn't count.

In the words of Palahniuk, "the goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will". At the risk of sounding narcissistic, it is a sad fact that most of us will live and die unnoticed by the world.

Watch the 17 year old Disney stars. However you might hate them, or rather your hate for them, just goes to show that they are leaving their mark. At 17 what are you doing? What am I doing? Slugging my guts out so that I can work behind a comfortable desk in the future. Its sad, especially at 5 in the morning when I'm doing exactly just that. Not doing anything to put my stubby little fingerprint on the huge canvas of the world.

I know that half the teen stars are backed by the all powerful Disney coroporation, but the question here isn't how you got there, its whether or not you've gotten there. And I use the example of Disney stars because they have achieved at a tender age what most people wouldn't achieve in their life time - creating immortality.

At what age will you leave your mark? That being said, will you ever leave your mark? Or do we live only to die.

Its amazing what crosses your mind when you're trying to write your 10 page research paper on social networking sites. Bloody brilliant, my mind is wandering everywhere else except onto my microsoft word document.

onz like donkey kong playing ping pong

2010-03-24T21:09:00.009+08:00

ITS OVER :"") and it was pretty damn wicked. Hewhewhew, the consequent groups will probably hate us for setting the bar that high. And before you start, sorry. My ego knows no bounds, its an infectious syndrome that I've contracted from the people around me.

Although I lost my spectacles (again) and haven't slept for the past 36 hours, I'm still in an unfallable good mood. Odd ain't it.

The universe works in mysterious way, by the beauty of CLT (heh, inside joke).

And after the last one, I have come to a realization that its never them, its always me. Which begs the question, what exactly is my problem?

Funfact: did you know that the whole of SMU doesn't have a scanner? Not even the CIT? The supposed epitome of technical advancement. Fail. spent half my morning hunting for a scanner, my desperation led me to even seek help from the NTUC healthcare counters. I was this close to asking if the school cafe owned one. You mean to say I pay 4.7k worth of school fees and I don't get a simple scanner? Preposterous!

FREE CONE DAY

2010-03-23T12:56:00.007+08:00

I lost all my vaunt 4 runway pictures. What is that all about!

Anyway, was wondering how Lady Gaga lost all her weight and jiggly thighs, and I found my answer. Not eating. Wow, okay that's helpful, like I didn't know that already right.

But every time I diet I feel bad because here I am rejecting all every single morsel of food at sight while there are people at the both ends of the earth starving. People who would kill to even lick the food that I'm rejecting.

And hence, I indulged in free cone day. Well, not exactly free. I paid $4 for my cone because I refuse to participate in the queue ( which incidentally stretched on for 2 stories). I bought a cone on free cone day, what a genius. Sigh. But itz okayz, I feel slightly better because Ashwin paid $6 for his.

The night shift starbucks staff have testified for my lack of a social life. I am here so often that my face and my order have been imprinted into their heads. The last time this happened I was mugging daily at novena Starbucks. Well, if this isn't sad, I really don't know what is.

time management is dead

2010-03-20T01:47:00.003+08:00

"roses are red,violets are blue

then what the hell is the color violet?! "

Yeah, I've been wondering the same thing too.

Although I really should be wondering about mathematical equations and gpa related things.

P.S. go watch How to Train a Dragon, its damn cute. Makes you go all =3

"If he can drag a table, I can drag a bus"

2010-03-16T02:47:00.004+08:00

I need St. Jude too (all of Majella's friends should understand where I'm coming from, heh).

I've got an entire loaf of Gardenia Banana & Walnut bread + 10 bars of Quaker Chewy Granoloa bars to accompany me through the night. In my opinion, mass gain and GPA are positively correlated, if one goes up the other sure as hell will.

My weighing scale tells me that I am well on my way to a 4.3 GPA.

I am also well on my way to a psychiatrist. My delusions are reaching a new high.

I almost choked and died on the spot.

2010-03-14T18:44:00.003+08:00

me: so I missed my A because of these few errors?!
prof: no actually, you missed an A+ because of these errors.

Feel my agony leap off the screen. Tiffanie, you should have just kept your royal mouth shut and save yourself the pain of that moment replaying in your head, over and over again.

I'm so tired, I want to cry.

2010-03-14T16:54:00.008+08:00

You know how fortune cookies usually have this enlightening scrap of paper embedded within it? Well, today I cracked open an empty fortune cookie, no form of wisdom in sight. I think the universe is trying to tell me something here.

I've realized that from now till 20th April, my social life will cease to exist. Not that I had any to begin with, just that now my social life is going to find itself in a more pathetic position than it did before. Which I suppose, is saying alot.

And, I MISS MY DAD TOO :)

Okay, now that my cautionary advice is out of the way, time to head back to hell and work on seemingly never ending projects and essays. Been sleeping at 6am everyday to complete work that doesn't even concern my GPA, seriously, my CCA is taking a toll on my health, and my grades.

bitch leaped across the lake.

2010-03-13T01:32:00.007+08:00

Had a sudden pang of motivation and started sticking pins and silk onto my mannequin, but as quick as my inspiration came, it went. So as of now I am left with 3 miserable scraps of cloth hanging off the derrière of my mannequin. I guess this is kind of like brain fart? But it felt good to be touching needles and cloth after not being able to do so for 8 months :)

Life is, good, as of yet

(if you ignore the fact that I've got a quiz tomorrow and that there is a paper due really soon).

Lady GaGa's newest music video was insanely awesome. Period.

Anyway,

Here is a summary on how the twilight saga trailer went down

"15 seconds of feel, 20 seconds of trees,

and then

you've got all 4 of the characters walking across the field

with their long assed cloaks and stuff."

HAHA

P.S. Just planned out summer holidays with Lorna! Excite.

So is taylor swift, swift?

2010-03-07T06:06:00.004+08:00

I know that it is old news but this made me snigger. Heh.

I can tell by the swag, she a gold-digga.

2010-03-07T02:24:00.006+08:00

Good morning boys and girls. Today's weather is looming with depression, the air choking with hopelessness.

Had the worst gut-wrenching feeling after my stats paper.

When you start blanking out during a paper, take a drink. When you know your GPA is going down the drain, take two.

And when you've decided to waste the remaining of you week away instead of studying, as you should be - take another. A couple drinks. A couple aspirin. And repeat.

To illustrate the wastage of my life, here's a run down since Thursday; Headed down to Timbre with a couple of friends on Thursday after the paper. Friday was spent going through a storybook instead of my sociology textbook, and indulging in Alice in Wonderland (though I absolutely do not regret my actions, Alice was well, wonderful). And today, Saturday, was spent stuffing my face, hour after hour, with food. Hopeless and fat, what a combination. But I guess its time to swallow my childish demeanor and resume my role as a student.

And for those of you who could tell from the beginning, I just finished Chuck Palahniuk's Diary. Mindfuckery at its best, no doubt.

On unrelated news, check this video out. It includes some of my favorite youtube rappers, all asian at that too.

I'm not the type of guy who's gonna buy you a car,

I'm just tryina' take you to the crib and make you a star.

I've got the camera, the stamina, the whip and some chains

how about we stag it up, rip it down and save us some pain.

LOL If tweaked, it could actually be a pretty neat pick up line.

P.S. Why are my posts always filled with doom and gloom? I'm actually quite a happy person in real life.

Incoming

2010-03-02T11:49:00.002+08:00

The AW stress is relentless, it refuses to stay down, not even for a week. Its starting to make my Political science mod look like child's play. Okay, maybe not.

I finished Mitch Albom's new book in one sitting yesterday despite all the deadlines staring at me in the face. Its a good thing I'm all teary-eyed so I can't see the workload piled up on my desk. Good read, go get it. Just don't read it in public. Smeared makeup and red eyes aren't a huge hit.

Btw, did you know that you can purchase Uranium online? Its about US$200 a pop, "which you may have noticed costs less than an Xbox 360, but twice as bad for you". No shit, sherlock. Apparently, you can also buy army tanks and Transformer-ish robotic killing machines to go along with your uranium. So, yeah, if you have an insatiable desire to destroy something, looks like this website just made your dream come true. Click here to check it out.

Translation in progress, statistics isn't so bad i guess. (Ohh, it rhymes)

2010-03-01T15:59:00.004+08:00

This is ridiculous. I lost my spectacles and my graphic calculator, inside my room.

Its not like my room is a mess or anything. Okay, it isn't the epitome of tidiness, but you can't fault it for a pig's sty either!

Its been a week now. I gave up looking for them, I'm just waiting for my belongings to magically appear. Yes, magic. Because its during times when you don't need somethig that they always turn up. My soundness in logic astounds me.

Anyhoo, check the video out. Its amazing how different artistes from different genres and different backgrounds are willing to come together for a single cause. Indeed, Love is a music you can still hear even when your radio is turned off.

The part where Lil' Wayne sang made me smile, a rapper with a heart; who would've thought! Celine Dion was amazing, as usual. Just Listen. And smile.

The only part I don't get, is why they let Justin Bieber start off the video. Oh, I kind of liked the rapped version, not because its rapped but the reason behind why its there. Like non-exclusivity in a sense I guess. Where everyone is included and well, everyone can do what their good at to help. And when you look at it that way, the song kinda just makes your day :)

2010-02-28T02:05:00.004+08:00

Wednesday with the girls because Ame can finally get a night out. Haven't seen them since, well, I can't even recall. Yeah, that's how long it was. Found a forgotten kimono-ish top lurking at the back of my cupboard. It was looking all lonely and sad so I decided that I should be a kind soul and wear it out that night. Hur hur, my clothes have feelings too.

And here's our partying ritual- the eye-makeup photographs

Insanely gorgeous, as usual.

Can't seem to be able to see the gradient on photos. the white, purple and pink seemed to have disappeared into well, different shades of pink. Oh well, was trying to follow the colours on my flower.

and afew shamless pictures of myself, teehee. (Actually, failed attempts at capturing my makeup+flower.)

Okay, superficiality override!

There can only be so much frivolous things on a post before I start feeling like a bimbo, so to save myself from me, moving on!

Spent the most awesome friday night of my life at (surprise, surprise) Pulau NTU. Any night with the girls is worth the world, honestly. Even being stupid together seems perfectly logical if I'm with them. So much love in one room! Didn't want the night to end :(

BEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT.

as sonia noticed, check out the difference between NTU and SMU students, LOL.

Because I'm missing a picture of you!

full of sunshine, full of hope. just very ignorant of reality.

2010-02-28T01:25:00.004+08:00

Hello, how are you! My break has been great, how was yours?

I slept so much that my head hurts, but hey beats not being able to sleep at all :D

Paintballed yesterday on a terrain that seemed more like a jungle than anything else. So, yes the army boys were on familiar ground while I kept mumbling about how I didn't know where the place started and ended. Every damn tree and knee-high grass looks the same to me! Earned myself even more battle wounds for leopard crawling from the start to the (seemingly never-ending) finish line with the winning flag.

Got to speedball too :D Urban setting next! Paintball addict for life.

Anyhoo, Kimmy came back for CNY break :D:D:D Such a delightful surprise, ain't it. Missing her already :( COME BACK AGAIN SOON OKAY.

And as usual, pictures shamelessly stolen from facebook.

Many tequila shots and Super Flaming Lambourghinis later. Epic night I must say, had so much fun :)

side note though, its weird that I look drunk here considering that I was one of the few sober ones left. Which brings me to the point where I have discovered new levels of alcohol tolerance, so I have concluded that either my liver is working really efficiently, or it has completely failed at its reason of existence.

Oh, and have you realized that the FUJI apple drink tastes exactly like apple shooters? Just sayin'.

Couple nights ago. I think that Kimmy should stop being behind the camera because I realized that I'm lacking pictures of her!

I think I'm obsessed over Izzy, omg gorgeous much?

Shooting stars, Jumping jets, twitching muscles and cardboard paper. It was a hell of an experience.

Right, moving on. Being the paranoid me, I'm going to split this post because of the sheer amount of pictures incase Blogger decides to pull one on me and crash. Which, is not surprising at all considering how much it has crashed on me and especially so on days when I write long long long posts. Yeah, it seems to be able to read my mind, because the system always chooses to crash on my last paragraph.

I'd like to let my naive self think that I've beat the system here. Teehee.

Looks like life's intangibles have taken a liking to messing with me today

2010-02-13T04:48:00.006+08:00

Time to take cover because Reality has taken it upon itself to dump as much as it can onto my face.

5 miserable days to prepare for 3 essays due back to back + sociology mid term next week. Everyone of those pieces require intensive research.

Oh and I'm also doing a painting thing for my friend's CT mod. It just perpetuated the fact that i cannot draw the male species, or anything human for that matter. FAIL. If only there was a print screen button for my brain that can just telepathically translate onto paper. That'd be pretty neat. It'd save me a heck load of eraser dust too (and hence indirectly saving the earth, whoopedoo).

I jut need to get past this week. I need a miracle. And while you're at it, please deliver me a tan. I can only describe my complexion as what dirt-meddled snow would look like. Semi melted at that too. Sounds horrid? You bet. Because looking haggard is the new in. Yeah and its times like these that make me realize that my delusions have reached a new high.

We all learn something new everyday and lesson learnt today is that: karma is a beetch, don't mess.

Was laughing at Ashwin for ripping his pants this morning and was being subjected to wearing hot shorts. Yes, hot shorts. I wonder why would anyone in the right mind produce something like that for men. Like, seriously? Anyway, yes karma is a bitch because I went home only to realize that I've got a tear up the back of my dress. Up as in, really really high up. You can just imagine the horror upon my realization right. Facepalm moment. Mm, hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn, especially those named Karma.

Oh yes, speaking of bitches. Academic writing is literally driving me insane, 7 hours in the library today saw me alternating between sighs and tears.

I NEED TO ENLIST ALL OF YOUR HELP. FRIENDS WHO ARE EXTREMELY PROFICIENT AT WRITING, DO NOT SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH.

/update: got all the help required. My friends are awesome, really. How many friends do you have that would stay up till 3 in the morning discussing the relationship between religion and the internet with you.

Gulp is right. I'm feeling the carrot now.

20 sticks?!

2010-02-07T03:44:00.008+08:00

You, my dear, are fucking retarded. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

You need to learn some civility. Some etiquette lessons would do you good.

And if you're doing it out of attention- well I hope not, I'd like to think that you're better than that.

Calvin Harris was quite good. There wasn't enough oxygen to go around though.

Saw a number of SMU people at Zouk. First question out of everyone's mouth was "No need to study ah?"

Shush.

And you, I thought you were cool. Not so much anymore.

All the angst. Sigh. But its going to pass. Tomorrow is going to be a better day, am going to watch Gary's Samba concert with the pies :) Can't wait.

Of limping horses, flattened ponies and unicorns

2010-02-03T23:08:00.008+08:00

I FINALLY found some time to breathe. Wheeze! I've had an almost sleepless week because I've been reaching home in the wee hours of the morning (3 a.m. being the earliest), and that's actually counting the days that I DO get to go home. But I guess I'm still hanging on, still holding onto whatever semblance of sanity left within me.

I've got this insatiable urge to buy shoes, actually just an insatiable urge to spend money. I believe in materialism because I like pretty things. And as all pretty things, they can only bring about joy and none of that depressing hullabaloos. A bimbotic theory, but a theory nonetheless. Don't burst my bubble.

On the brighter side of life, the last stats class seemed a little more comprehensible. T'was very ego boosting, I must say. Although the Prof did hand out 4 sheets of symbols; the kind that maybe after a lot of staring, you'll discover the meaning to life. Or something.

On a rather personal note, I've been having a little argument with myself. Pardon me, single children tend to do this a lot, purely because we don't have a sibling to yell at.

I'm disturbingly unemotional. Although I do feel this pawing within me from time to time, urging me to feel something, anything.

Its like being on anesthesia. And I reckon that should it wear off, the results would be- least to say- catastrophic.

Or maybe not. Not if the anesthesia was applied without a pain in place. Then the anesthesia would have been for nothing, no? And there can be no pain if there no impact, right?

But, I do remember some jolts and collisions here, there and in between. I remember, but vaguely though. No scratch that, actually, I don't know. I'm not sure. It might have just been a figment of my imagination.

It probably is.

I think I've forgotten. Although the constriction within me tells me that I should do so otherwise.

Maybe, just maybe, its for the best.

For me at least.

Today, my Prof played me out. FML.

2010-01-27T01:21:00.004+08:00

Today I had 3 hours of Sanskrit in the form of Statistics. Mind blown, I have never seen so many symbols in my entire life (32 full slides to be exact). It was insane, even the boy whom I've never heard speak, was lamenting about how 'Prof just spammed pages of God-like formulas with zero english explanations'. Yeah, and some other guy declared to the world that Prof brought us to Fairy land and back. And back? What back? I'm still stuck there.

Mind you, we all tried reading the slides before class (tried being the key word, most of us gave up at slide 4) & tried paying full attention during class. But yeah after awhile you start to hear periodic proclamations of "FML!" and exasperated sighs going on around the class. One by one you see everyone slumping dejectedly back into their seats.

Not cool.

Anyway, I finished tuesdays with Morrie during breakfast today. Yeah, mental note to never do that again. Tears and peanut butter do not go, trust me.

Oh right on the same line of thought, Ian promised me on week 2 that if I turn up on time for week 3's Sociology class that he will lend me his copy of American Gods by Neil Gaiman. You bet your precious edollars that I made sure I was extra early on week 3. You should have seen the look on all my friends' faces when they saw me walk into the seminar room a full 15 minutes before class started. PRICELESS. Well, I earned my book. Who said barter trade was dead? (Well sort of barter trade, heh)

I've got 2 presentations due next week and one 4 page critique due this thursday. I am ready to kill someone, particularly those who are still relentlessly spamming my facebook wall with Haiti applications. STOP.

P.S. Too cool, and too true. I'm Chuck Bass. Its the answer to everything.

I'm sorry but you're appealing to emotions that I simply do not have

2010-01-26T00:38:00.004+08:00

I don't know why I've been so emotionally turbulent these few days. I blame the dentist.

Apparently there's still conjunctivitis to add to my misery.

But its cool, bumping into Chuan is probably the highlight of my entire day :)

Death toll in Haiti has risen to 150,000 according to CNA. And its expected to rise higher. The news article is just plain depressing.

On a rather different note, I am incredibly annoyed with the Haiti application spam on facebook. Its like what Chloe said, if you actually care, why not actually do something about it?! Like taking out your savings for instance? How about offering your services? Or organizing some fund raising? Spamming applications is not going to help. And don't tell me its for awareness because you have to be living under a rock if you don't know about what happened to Haiti, either that or you just don't care (and if thats the case, no amount of 'awareness spam' is going to change that). Either way, its not a point about awareness.

I want to help, so I've already taken out a sum of cash from my bank account and made it to Haiti.

SO, moral of the story; dude, you really care? GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, IRL.

I apologize for the angst going on here.

Anyway, I'm currently reading Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. Had me crying like a baby. Definitely worth reading.

   "Have I told you about the tension of opposites?" he says.
   The tension of opposites?
   "Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.
   "A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle."
   Sounds like a wrestling match, I say.
   "A wrestling match." He laughs. "Yes, you could describe life that way."
   So which side wins, I ask?
   "Which side wins?"
   He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth.
   "Love wins. Love always wins."

-Tuesdays with Morrie, Mitch Albom

P.S. Was supposed to do the Waikiki photo shoot with Ashwin at sentosa on sunday but it was scheduled at an unearthly hour of 10.30am. Doesn't take much calculation for me to choose my bed over the sand. Was worth it too, finally cleared my sleep debt.

so tired

2010-01-23T18:08:00.004+08:00

Since I usually don't check what I type and my ideas generate in a weird overlapping way, I usually find horrid grammatical errors + incoherent points when I read my previous posts.

I cringe.

2010-01-20T12:12:00.004+08:00

I honestly cannot stand people who whine and right about now I'm starting to hate myself alot

but I'm going to do it anyway.

MY TEETH HURTS LIKE FUCK.

STUPID BLUE RUBBER BANDS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AND I'M DAMN HUNGRY.

OH MY GOODNESS.

AHHHHHHHHH

I AM SAD.

AND IN PAIN

AND HUNGRY.

:((((((((((((

life sucks

P.S. I'm starting to think that I can actually read minds.

Dentists have sad childhoods

2010-01-19T10:58:00.004+08:00

Today I left the dentist with separators in my mouth for the third time in a row. FML. Those blue rubber bands are the bane of my existence, I swear I literally cowered into my dental chair (however that may be possible) and whimpered at the sight of those torture contraptions.

Yeah, I did all that while my dentist didn't even try to hide his grin. At least act like you sympathize with me, that's the least you can do right! But alas noooo, a grin plus a snigger. Thank you Dentist, I feel so much better now.

From this I conclude that Dentists must have had bad childhoods or probably just derive some sort of twisted pleasure from seeing their patients writhe in pain. Okay actually, after describing it as such, I feel rather inclined to apply for the job.

But anyway, here ends my little rant about nasty blue rubber bands.
(and also the start,yet again, of a another week's worth of liquid diet)

:)

2010-01-17T21:18:00.005+08:00

I JUST FOUND THIS ON YOUTUBE! Makes me smile, thought it might make those of you out there smile too. Always loved the harp, had to drop it at grade two because it was too expensive to continue. Grade three onwards required a pedal harp which was S$20,000 for a second hand one, mummy wasn't too keen on having her primary six girl mess with a 20k instrument so yeah, there goes the harp.

ANYWAY, enough rambling. LISTEN!

I remember those super strict technique lessons I had, all those exasperated sighs from both my teacher and I.

But it was all worth it in the end when I started playing and all the notes just started flowing out of my harp. Truly magical :)

Hold you breath, it gets better.

2010-01-16T23:30:00.007+08:00

Another one of those ramble in my head about Life. Pretty long read.

What makes humans better than animals?

Well I was reading Guns, germs and steel (such an accomplishment, I know) and since it was more or less a history of human technology, there was an intro about the way humans lived well before civilizations occurred, during a time where the entire world was equal.

It was said that humans then were mobile hunters. Humans moved from cave to cave, where ever food could be found and living up to probably one month before the returns were low (remember they hunted for their food), then they move on to the next cave and repeat the entire process all over again.

Then it occurred to me that early humans were no better than animals, living for the sake of living. There was no purpose and there was no aim, people just survived because well, they had to. Which then kind of makes us no better than animals don't you think? Granted we hunted the animals, but that didn't make us any more human than they are, it just made us the stronger animal. Just part of the ecosystem as they say.

In my opinion, we only raised above the animals when we had a purpose to live for. When civilizations rose off the ground and when humans yearned to reach the heavens. There was invention, trade, domestication of plants, domestication of animals and pretty much domestication of nature. I don't know where the whole purpose for living started, but I guess it was around that time that humans started to know what they wanted with their life, and had a purpose to live; to chase after the life that they wanted.

But sadly, I've been seeing similar issues in the present day context. People who just live because well, they had to. Living aimlessly, going to their jobs and going back home to sleep and back to work again. I mean if you wanted that life, or if you loved your job and you are very sure you aren't just floating through life, then I guess its all cool. But those who just float through life (not even realizing it) and then at the end of the day, die; I think its very sad. I think it makes us no better than early humans who just lived to live. I think (I hesitate to say) it makes us no better than animals. You work to eat, you eat to live so that you can go back to work to eat.

No, I don't think its right, at all. In fact, its all very sad.

So I think if you know what you want in life, chase it because you are already so much more fortunate than those who don't know what they want in their life.
And chase it because I believe that since life is short, don't waste it on things that you don't want in it.

Don't work because you want to earn money per se. You can be the richest man on earth but if you didn't earn it the way you'd like to, its just paper. Its just an empty life with a whole lot of paper. And I know alot of you will say that money is all encompassing form of happiness. Well, I agree if money is important but I'd much live a my life with the job that I want and desire with minimum wage and be happy that way, than to be stuck in a high paying job that I hate with all my guts and where returning to work everyday is a chore.

So think about it, what do you want in life? And for my friends (this includes you Amelia) and other people who are reading this, if you know what you want, please just go for it. Because, I repeat, you're so much more fortunate than those who don't have a single clue what they want in life, who just float through life that way.

For those of you who haven't already clicked exit, well done. So what's your take on this? Do leave a comment if you have something to say, well the previous tag board debate on intellect was well, pretty, for the lack of better vocabulary, refreshing.

On a totally irrelevant note, I finally got my Anberlin & Avenged Seven fold songs. YAY. And Pon De Floor too. I can feel my itunes feeling a little happier than it did yesterday and yes before you say anything, my itunes has feelings :)

Also, I've got this long scratch down my side. Have no flippin' clue how I got it, I only found out when my sides started hurting this morning then. How on earth did it get there?!

P.S. Found out about this 15 year old boy who apparently is some kind of pop sensation. Reminds me of a young Jesse Maccartney. I like his voice :) Check it out. Ignore his front blabber LOL.

Ain't too shabby eh? This kid is going to be huge. I can already see his slew of female fans going crazy.

Every mushroom cloud has a silver lining, LONG POST AHEAD.

2010-01-16T22:34:00.004+08:00

This is exactly how I envisioned my weekends five faithful months ago; a weekend without any known agenda. Okay no, the only reason I'm able to laze around today is because I'm feeling too sickish to do any assignments. In SMU, workless weekends are not part of our equation, infact they are so rare and few inbetween that the term doesn't even exist in our dictionaries anymore. No work? Gasp! The blasphemy!

Yeah, on a similar workless note (yes, I've sinned), I helped out in Lijia's event. T'was alright, got to hang out with Mao & Majella. Made a couple of friends along the way. Now, I can safely say that my friends from SMU has extended beyond 2 hands. I can now include my feet in the counting process. Good progress, I reckon.

Brendan is pimping. Just look at that silly grin on his face, he's enjoying it.

fellow pie in the event too :) check out the height sequence. My goodness, and to think I was wearing insane heels.

I have height issues (and Lady Gaga hair)

I think Xiao Yun looks like snow white :)

I heart my heels. Oh yes, very much so.

Mei Shan did our makeup! :D

Izzy's tag sort of made me feel obligated to post up pre-school pictures as well. Good times, good times. I miss the girls so much though (cue heart shatter) everyone is so far away from me, its honestly devastating. Mao included because I only get to see her once a week. TRAGIC AIN'T IT.

2weeks to Dooms day

The insanely nice people I met on that day :)

3/10 of the pie equation

1 week to Dooms day

NEW YEARS

2 days to Dooms day

Ending this picture post on a completely happy note :) I love my girls (including Luoer The Invisible girl, whom only the wise can see)

Over and out!

How much do you really want it?

2010-01-11T01:38:00.005+08:00

Its a tragedy is to lose sight of your dreams. Its an even greater tragedy to not attain them despite trying. But the greatest tragedy, in my opinion, is attaining your dream but losing it at the end because of your own incompetence. Completely different from George Bernard Shaw, although I do agree with him.

Was seriously contemplating dropping out of SMU and enroll into Polimoda/Central St. Martins/ Parsons/ Esmod (still undecided). But yeah, the parental unit has spoken, looks like I'm back to my original plan; finish up SMU then head over to fashion school.

Apparently, according to them, I don't want it bad enough. Which might actually be true. I don't want anything badly right now, I know what I don't want but I'm not exactly pining for anything right now. So I guess parents do know what's best, well that's why they are the parents and I'm the kid. I just need to show them that I want it really bad, so in the meantime its SMU for me.

And since I'm stuck in SMU, I need to start on my AW essays. Oh gross.

Speaking of being a kid, I'm technically no longer a teen. Translated it means that I have no more legitimate reasons to watch Disney channel anymore! Sad face.

My eating and sleeping habits are insane. It's like they have to disobey every single rule that makes a human being, normal. Being abnormal is tiring, can someone tell me how to start eating and sleeping at normal hours in normal quantities?

Izzy's blog post that made my day:

20100107
on perfectionism

in a generation marked by apathy and dispassion, there still endures a pressing existential need to know this: how much milk is too much? or, for that matter, too little? what is the perfect milk to cereal ratio? because cereal alone was able to transcend space and time to reach the zenith of historical relevance it boasts of today. when the cereal's gone, how do i know i won't be left with a sad puddle of flavoured- nay TAINTED- milk at the bottom of the bowl? drinking milk from a spoon is laughable, needless behaviour at best. slurping it up from the bowl, uncivilized. and not drinking it at all, wasteful and a sin. not enough milk would yield too-crunchy cereal, thereby causing discomfort and hurt; soggy cereal is vital to a life not ruined by lacerations on the roof of one's mouth. also, i try to limit 4 pieces of cereal to every spoonful. if the last spoonful contains an odd number of pieces, i die a little inside. sometimes i die up to 3 times a day.

in the same vein, i faced a similar dilemma while making a turtle out of play dough during a tutoring session. i say without shame that it is near impossible to create perfect sized matching flippers. one flipper would always be bigger than the other. the easiest and most sensible solution would be to add more play dough to the smaller flipper but following which, the ex-smaller flipper would inexplicably end up larger than the ex-larger flipper. again, common sense would tell you to repeat the process, but the same cycle of inequality persists until the motherfucking turtle looks like it has fucking elephantitis. this is why i never want to be god, because then everyone would just walk around retarded.

P.S. Will resume Guns, germs and steel tomorrow. Wish me luck people, that I may return from the treacherous lands of Jared Diamond, victorious and unharmed.

mylifeisaverage

2010-01-08T23:34:00.006+08:00

Feeling down, crappy and incredibly upset. What's worst is that I can't even place a finger on what exactly is causing this.

I need a therapist.

/Just surfed through MLIA, day seems significantly brighter. whatever is left of it anyway.

Oh and I just had an awkward turtle moment. Damon you ass, I can't possibly say 'no I'd rather stay at home' right. I forsee that tomorrow is going to be a long, long day. Long and awkward indeed.

// "It's the worst when you're mind fucking someone then suddenly the other person gets smart and starts mind fucking you back" -Maj. LOL. What can I say. Life sucks.